Monday, June 16, 2008


I confess. While I'm politically perfect, I am truly ultra-liberal when it comes to humor: all a joke must be is funny. Offensive? Maybe limits who I tell it or pass it on to. I vaguely recall the odd joke that has offend me but it's rare. (Now, the Vanity Fair photo of the Cyruses (well, not really, Miley isn't a true Cyrus yet), that offended me.)

The following, well, no.
"Who's Your Daddy?"

The following are all replies that Detroit women
have written on Child Support Agency Forms in
the section for listing "father's details;" or putting
it another way.... Who's yo Daddy? These are
genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to
check out #11 tomorrow. It takes 1st prize and
#3 is runner up.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins,
Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley.
I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda,
but I believe that she was conceived on the same

2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my
child as I was being sick out of a window when
taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you
with a list of names of men that I think were at the
party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little
girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand
Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night.
I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted.
If you do manage to track down the father, can you
please send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter.
He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my
stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can
contact BMW service stations in this area and see if
he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a
Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope
confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate
and that he is the Saver risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia dad as he
informs me that to do so would blow his cover and
that would have cataclysmic implications for the
economy. I am torn between doing right by you
and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as
they all look the same to me.

8. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A. If you do
catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with
my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at
the same time.... well, I don't have clue.

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was
conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the
Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only
thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did
a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I
had stayed in and watched more TV rather than
going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave, mine might
have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of
my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of
beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.
Link (if you can get in).

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