Saturday, May 24, 2008


MacUser, out of boredom, provides these:
“Apple vs. Microsoft”

Three Microsoft engineers and three Apple employees are traveling by train to a computer conference. At the station, the three Microsoft engineers each buy tickets and watch as the three Apple employees buy only a single ticket.

“How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks a Microsoft engineer.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answers the Apple employee.

They all board the train. The Microsoft engineers take their respective seats, but all three Apple employees cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, “Ticket, please.”

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes the ticket and moves on.

The Microsoft engineers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Microsoft engineers decide to do the same on the return trip and save some money.

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Apple employees don’t buy any ticket, at all.

“How are you going to travel without a ticket?” asks one perplexed Microsoft engineer.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answers an Apple employee.

When they board the train the three Microsoft engineers cram into a restroom and the three Apple employees cram into another one nearby. The train departs.

Shortly afterward, one of the Apple employees leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Microsoft engineers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please…”

Three employees, one from Microsoft, one from Sun, and one from Apple are in a restroom, at the urinals. When the Microsoft employee is done he washes his hands, he dries his hands completely with 10 paper towels. “At Microsoft,” he says, “We’re very thorough.” The sun employee finishes, washes his hands, and dries them with one paper towel. “At Sun, we’re very thorough AND very efficient.” The Apple engineer leaves without washing his hands, and says, “At Apple, we don’t piss on our hands.”

Two geeks are talking over lunch. The first guy says “You wouldn’t believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said ‘Take whatever you want!’ … So I took the bike.”

The second guy says “Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

And really, how does one defend a monopoly-based company run by a madman?

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