Primary Haikus

The Top 25 Election 2008 Haikus

Evil Viet Cong
And their horrid torture camps?
No match for this crap!

Dennis Kucinich
Said he saw UFOs, then
Disappeared in one.

The time has long past.
The fat lady sings to thee,
Huckabee, go home!

Hillary's *so* tired.
Pranksters won't stop calling her
Right at 3 a.m.

John McCain am I.
So strong, can crush you like bug.
Do not look at me!

Who wants the lesser
Of three evils? Bill Bradley,
Won't you please come home?

John McCain makes speech:
"My fellow Americans,
Get off my damn lawn!"

Barack, be like Bill.
He *does* love America --
One chick at a time.

Ron Paul is still in.
Waiting for the mothership?
Reality check!

Hillary Clinton's
Inevitability
Fades like Mets in fall.

Just say what you mean!
Don't start every speech with
"What I meant to say..."

John McClain? "Die Hard"?
Hey, Iran: Yippie-kay-yay,
You evil mofos!

Hillary Clinton
Fighting Barack Obama?
You two get a room!

GOP to Dems:
Good luck choosing nominee.
Wake us in August.

Hillary was the
Odds-on favorite to win --
Like the Patriots.

Many candidates,
All of them equally bad.
Write in for Chris White!

Pennsylvanians
Can indeed be quite bitter --
Like Reverend Wright.

When will it be safe
to watch my TV again?
I'm sick of this crap.

Who won't die, but comes
Once again to eat our brains?
Zombie Ralph Nader!

Hi. I'm John McCain.
Some say I'm too old to run
Hi. I'm John McCain...

Bosnian snipers
Over a decade later
Shoot holes in Clinton.

Forget the war and
Economy plummeting --
Where's his flag pin?!?

I'm watching Fox News.
Apparently, the sun shines
Out of McCain's ass.

3 a.m. phone call
Hillary answers, first ring
It's Trixi, for Bill.

Hypnotizing me,
Winning my heart and my vote:
Obama Girl's boobs.