The Sole Source and Planner of All Acts of Global Terrorism and Evil Confesses

Can you believe this?

And you know it's true and not the result of any torture or abuse because he says so.

No wonder it took so long to come out... the time required for preparing the confesor and teaching him everything he had to know.... And of course the interogation for what he was actually involved in....

Well, here's one skeptic.

And the General reveals the other crimes for which he's responsible:

• New Coke
• Formidable law blogger Ann Althouse
• Not sending enough troops in the initial Iraq invasion.
• Faking the deaths of Tupa, Elvis, and Jim Morrison, converting them to Islam, and hiding them out in a cave in Peshawar.
• Selling Vogon Star Cruisers to Hugo Chavez.
• The neglect of our wounded soldiers.
• Introducing Bill O'Reilly to the magical properties of loofahs and falafels.
• Telling Scooter Libby about Valerie Plame
• Paris Hilton
• Gonzales Prosecutor Scandal
• France
• Olestra's anal leakage side effect.

And another list is here.